When I'm laid to rest,

I hope you find my soul

amongst the glowing fireflies

in the darkest of times

to lessen the heaviness

in your aching chest.

Let them show you the times

That we may drown in

Grave sorrow, and

Dance away in happiness,

As the violent tides recede

From the shore,

May it show your strength,

And readiness.

-C.M.

In all honesty,

As time passes, I’ve realized that I no longer can find it in myself to fake a smile or even laugh at the littlest things like I used to. There are days when I find it too difficult to get up because I feel too weak. There are countless nights when I’d lose sleep trying to desperately tune out the loud thoughts screaming in my head. There are times when I’d question myself: “Why is everything so difficult? Why am I here? What is it this all for, really?” And I haven’t really figured out the answer myself. I honestly feel like I’m still wandering aimlessly at life. But I guess I just wanted to let these feelings out because my thoughts are cycling again.

And they won’t stop.

Favorite Vacation Destination

If you can guess where this place is by the title, you may be one of closest people to me. As I've mentioned in my very first blog post, Laguna Beach is my favorite vacation destination in the West Coast, and I got to visit again during my trip to Southern California just a couple weeks ago.